Whether you are raising teenagers or your children are younger like mine, any parent can benefit from reading The Available Parent. This book is written by top teen expert Dr. John Duffy who has seen it all in his family counseling practice. With the book’s sound, practical parenting advice, I feel much better prepared for the task of being an effective, “available” parent during my sons’ teenage years.
Seeing the changes in my niece and nephew, who are now teenagers, has been a little unnerving. There’s the constant texting, the rebellious and anti-social behavior. Who are these kids and where did Drew and Marie go? As I found out in The Available Parent, not only is their behavior normal, but teens that don’t rebel and push back tend to have difficulty establishing a unique identity. Like it or not, according to Dr. Duffy, a difficult, argumentative, button pushing teen is by and large a good thing. Yikes!
I don’t want to be afraid of my sons’ teenage years, I want to be prepared for them! In The Available parent, one of the first key factors that I have learned is the need to place my fears aside “in favor of hope and optimism” in order to “reconnect” with what will soon be my teenagers.
“Remain available to your child through the teenage years and you lay a foundation for a healthy loving relationship.”
Too Much Data, Too Busy, Yet Lonely
Most teenagers are exposed to some form of media like the ipone, ipad, itouches, and ipods for about six to eight hours a day. For this generation of teenagers, many activities take place out of our site, that is out of the home. When they are home, the activities are very isolating. Despite being very busy academically and socially, coupled with media overload, most of the teens that Dr. Duffy works with surprisingly feel lonely.
“The ability to label feelings – your own and others is the key to emotional intelligence – a major contributor to success in life.”
This communication is an important part of the relationship between a parent and teenager and it is a “vital component of availability.”
Don’t Take it Personally and Don’t Take any Shit
The available parent recognizes that adolescence is ever changing. A teen’s rebellion tends not to last forever. (I will remind myself of this as I try not to take my insolent teenage sons’ behavior personally!) The best way to not take any shit? T0 sum it up, parents need to be a united front and individually exhibit and model self-control and emotional awareness.
What Not to Do
I find myself doing this already this with my six year old – lecturing. According to Dr. Duffy, it just doesn’t work. Are you an over scheduling parent who lives vicariously through your children? Find out why it’s not a good thing. If you smother your teenage daughter, she won’t be socially ready to face the world. Coddling is never a good thing because kids get no sense of competence. Parents that play Good Cop/Bad Cop show disunity and discredit availability. Bribery? Forget it!
“As parents we serve as vessels through which our children find their way. Teens need to find their competence. “
What To Do
When it comes to younger children, Dr. Duffy shares his advice for having the (dreaded) sex ed talk and how to handle the introduction of social media sites like Facebook. For middle school children, learn how to open up communication and sustain it through the teenage years. Find out how to engage in the tough talks and ask the tough questions about things like smoking, sex and drinking. Dr. Duffy advises parents to get in touch with our core intuitive sense as part of being available parents.
Have you heard of the emotional bank account? Find out how making genuine deposits in your children’s emotional bank account strengthens and contributes to the richness of the relationship, not just with our children, but with anyone in our lives.
Could a behavioral contract allow for your teen’s judgment to effectively develop? Find out why Dr. Duffy considers this a strategy to parenting that always works for the available parent. Learn what else always works!
The cover of The Available Parent reads, “Minimize conflict and maximize satisfaction in your relationship with your child.” For parents who follow Dr. Duffy’s advice in The Available Parent, they will better navigate the waters of the teenage years while building that foundation for a healthy, loving relationship in the years to come.
About The Available Parent – Radical Optimism for raising teens and tweens
Have you ever been bewildered by the changes in your child and your sudden lack of effectiveness as a parent? When hugs and family fun have been replaced by silence, slamming doors and an ever-changing array of moods, you need new tools. Top teen expert Dr. John Duffy has encountered all of this and more in his family counseling practice and offers excellent advice, clear strategies and teen-tested solutions in The Available Parent.
Dr. Duffy can help you shift the dynamic in your relationship with your teenager. Imagine what it would be like if healthy conversations replaced angry outburts or petulant silence. Using the techniques in Available Parent, you can begin to enjoy a healthy, satisfying, new kind of relationship with your teenager — one based on a foundation of radical optimism, rather than fear-based control. At a time when many “helicopter parents” micro-manage and under-appreciate their children, Dr. Duffy’s step-by-step guide is an innovative approach to taking care of teens and tweens. You’ll see that it’s the available parent that fosters the extraordinary teenager.
What you’ll learn inside this book:
- How to understand the adolescent mind
- What teen rebellion is really about
- How to build your child’s self-esteem and confidence
- How to create a successful behavioral contract
The Available Parent is available on Amazon.com for $10.85.
This giveaway is now closed. Check the right side bar for a list of my current giveaways. Sign up to receive email updates and never miss a giveaway! Thank you for visiting Moms Own Words.
Win It Dr. Duffy is offering a copy of The Available Parent to one Mom’s Own Words Reader.
How to Enter
Complete the required entry below. Once completed, you may enter additional times by leaving an extra comment for each optional entry completed. Please make sure to include your email in your comments.
Required Entry – Do you have teenagers or tweens? Does parenting get easier or harder as they get older? Please comment.
Optional Extra Entries
Like Moms Own Words on Facebook – 1 entry
Subscribe via email and confirm your subscription – 2 entries
Become a public blog follower on Google Friend Connect (bottom right) – 1 entry
Enter any of my other current giveaways – 2 entries
Leave a NEW comment on any non-giveaway post – 1 entry per day
Follow @kristiannm on Twitter and tweet this giveaway – 1 entry per day
Share/like this giveaway on Facebook (button below) – 1 entry per day
Giveaway ends on June 9th, 11:59 PM EST. Open to US. Winners will be chosen by random.org and contacted by email. Please respond in 48 hours or a new winner will be chosen. To be fair to everyone, comments not meeting requirements will be deleted.
The product(s) featured in this giveaway were provided free of cost to me by the author, the manufacturer, or representing PR agency. Opinions expressed are my own and are NOT influenced by monetary compensation.